Typing Problem Solved

Okay - so I think I've fixed the typing problem.

After my last post I did some experimenting and discovered that the slow typing only occurred when I was typing things online, such as this blog, or passwords within websites.

That led me to believe the problem was with my browser instead of a hardware problem. I did some checking around and discovered it may have had something to do with a program called Microsoft Silverlight. I tried to uninstall and reinstall the current version of Silverlight on my laptop, to no avail (the install kept failing).

So - I decided this is a good time to try another browser. I've been wanting to try Google's Chrome browser. I installed that program and now it seems I have no more slow typing problem. So...there is no need to offend the kind lady across the seas, and my problem is fixed, and heck, it's only 10:30am on Monday morning! I can take the rest of the week off!

Smile!

Steve

Typing Trauma

Okay... so I start my second month of unemployment on a Monday morning. That's bad enough. On top of that I am having PC problems. It seems when I type on my laptop, it only registers half the letters I type. The only way to keep this from happening is to type v e r y s l o w l y.

For instance, here is a sentence typed at my normal speed:

Now is te time fr all men to cometo the aidf thei coutry.

Now the same sentence at s l o w speed:

Now is the time for all me to come to the aid of their country.

Do you realize how difficult it is to type slowly?

So here's what I did. I called Dell, and they connected me with a representative from a Central Asian country. This kind lady tried her best to help me, but when she types, obviously in a second language, the computer works flawlessly because she is typing v e r y s l o w l y.

So I have a conundrum. What to do with the slow typing problem - especially without offending the kind woman from a Central Asian country.

I'm working on that - and hopefully it will be resolved shortly.

Unles I go crzy fist!!!

Egadssssssss!!!

Go For It

I ran across a great quote in a book I just finished, the Greek Tragedy Ajax by Sophocles. The quote is by the eponymous Greek hero, who is second only to Achilles in strength and valor in the Trojan war. His statement addresses how to conduct your life. He says,

"Better all at once to take our chances at living or dying, than be worn away slowly by the dreadful slaughter. . ." (Illiad 15.511 ff)

Not a bad way to live - just go for it. Are you currently being "worn away slowly" by some dreadful slaughter? Listen to Ajax my friend. . .

Augustine'sConfessions

I just finished reading The Confessions of St. Augustine, a book I had previously read in seminary. This book chronicles the author’s life moving from his infancy and rebellious adolescence, through succeeding periods of doubt and misplaced religious loyalties, to his eventual conversion to the Catholic faith under Bishop Ambrose, another famous church father.

Augustine was born in 354 AD to a Christian mother and a pagan father. After a very “worldly” adolescence he first embraced Manichaeism, then Neo-Platonism. Finally, after years of prayer by his devoted mother, Monica, on Easter Sunday, 387 AD, at the age of 33, Augustine was baptized. He was later ordained Bishop of Hippo in Northern Africa in 395. He died in 430 AD, just a few years before the fall of the Roman Empire.

The Confessions were written in 397 AD in a series of thirteen chapters called “books.” The first nine books are basically autobiographical and cover the years 354-87; the last three books are a mainly an allegorical commentary on the first chapter of Genesis. I must admit that this concluding section of this book is a bit tedious. It includes long-winded philosophical and theological arguments that remind me of reading Moby Dick where H. Melville felt it necessary to describe the physiology of whales and mechanics of whaling in excruciating detail. For example in Book 10 the author provides a long discussion of the nature of memory. Then in Book 11 he includes a long (and confusing) discussion of the nature of time. These parts are so tough to read that some translators and editors even abridge the book by leaving out all or parts of these Books.

The fascinating parts of the book are where the author speaks in first person to God and we are allowed to “overhear” that conversation. The Confessions were one of the first personal histories ever written. Everyone can relate as Augustine recounts his struggles with doubt and his struggles against sin. He writes, “For as I became a youth, I longed to be satisfied with worldly things, and I dared to grow wild in a succession of various and shadowy loves. My form wasted away and I became corrupt in your [God’s] eyes, yet I was still pleasing to my own eyes – and eager to please the eyes of men” [2.2.2]. Augustine goes on to share how his sins were due to a “misdirection” of his gifts away from God (the Creator) and toward the material, created world. Augustine describes how he delayed his conversion and baptism, fearing he would fall again into sin: “I delayed my conversion to the Lord; I postponed from day to day the life in you [God], but I could not postpone the daily death in myself. I was enamored of a happy life, but I still feared to seek it in its own abode and so I fled from it while I sought it. I thought I would be miserable if I were deprived of the embraces of a woman….for I imagined that it depended on one’s own strength, though I found no such strength in myself…” [6.11.20] Eventually Augustine would father a son out of wedlock and “become more wretched as you [God] came nearer” before finally becoming a Christian. This finally occurred in a garden in Milan where Augustine had fled while wracked with doubt, guilt and grief. While in the garden he overheard a child from a neighboring house chanting, “Take up and read, take up and read” (Tolle lege, Tolle lege) which Augustine took as a sign to pick up his Bible and read the first passage he came to, which happened to be Romans 13:11-14,

And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

Upon reading this, Augustine made a full commitment to Christ and immediately felt blessed by doing so. He writes, “I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to, for instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away” [8.12.28].

I enjoyed reading the book, but honestly, Augustine “confesses” all we really need to learn from it on the very first page. For there, at the beginning of Book One we read Augustine’s confession of praise, taken from Psalms 145 and 147, “You are great, Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is your power, and infinite your wisdom” [1.1.1). He also confesses the reason we must “confess” on that very same first page, “For you have made us for yourself and restless is our heart until it comes to rest in you” [1.1.1].

I encourage you to read this book, if for nothing else than to improve your prayer life. You will be blessed if you do “take up and read” as the author - and I did.

Staying Busy...

Now that I am not gainfully employed I thought I would have lots of spare time and not much to do. Oddly enough, that is not the case. I seem to be busier than ever. The sad thing is, much of what I am doing now, I was getting done before - in my spare time.

This has taught me a couple of lessons. First, most of us usually get done what needs to get done, regardless of how long it takes. In other words, at least some of what I am doing now may not necessarily need to be done because I wouldn't have had time for it before so it would not have gotten done. Two possibilities go against this line of thinking. First, there is the old axiom that says that our work expands to fill the time available; that is to say, I'm taking much longer to get my stuff done now that I have extra time. The second possibility is that with the extra time I now have I am noticing things that need to be done that I previously would have not have noticed.

The second lesson I have learned is I am beginning to suspect that much of what I was doing before as a pastor may not have been the most important things I could have been doing. When I look back at my schedule then, I see that I spent lots of time completing tasks that either did not need doing at all, or else they should have been delegated to others, leaving me more time to be with people, to pray, to study, etc....

This week as I enter my fourth week since leaving my job, I still have not found my rhythm. I believe I am afraid to simply be still and just "be" before God and my family and friends. I know I must do this before I can even begin thinking about what I should do next. There is healing that must occur. I need to get comfortable in my own skin. I need to relax and rest in God and his provision for me, and in his estimate of my worth.

Please join me in praying this will begin to happen.

Being Perfect

I just finished reading Anna Quindlen's little book, "Being Perfect." While I frequently disagree with Quindlen as a journalist (she writes a column for Newsweek), I have to admit she is right on the money with her thoughts in this memoir-like book.

Quindlen claims our efforts to be "perfect" are like "carrying a backpack filled with books every single day." She urges her readers to lay this burden down, to "put down that backpack before you develop permanent curvature of the spirit." Our attempts to be perfect, Quindlen argues, actually involve little more than imitating others. All one has to do is read the culture you are a part of (what are people eating, wearing, reading, believing, etc...) and then come up with the imitation necessary to fit in, or, better yet, the imitation you will have to be in order to be judged a "success."

To illustrate this the author recounts her arrival at Manhattan's Barnard College. She arrived there in 1970 "with a trunk of perfect pleated kilts and perfect monogrammed sweaters" but by Christmas break had exchanged that wardrobe for "another perfect uniform: overalls, turtlenecks, clogs, and the perfect New York City college affect, part hypercerebral, part ennui."

What's wrong with that? In one of the most powerful statements she makes in the book Quindlen declares that "nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations." She continues:

"What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. Begin with that most frightening of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am."

I have no doubt that I got as much out of "Being Perfect" as I did because of where I am right now in my own journey. As I close one chapter in my life and turn expectantly toward the next, I do not want to miss the best things God has in store for Donna and me because of my fear of taking a chance - of making the leap - of embracing the risk involved with living life boldly. I want to listen to one voice - to the One Voice who formed me and created me and has lovingly cared for me these 53 journeys around the sun. I need to push aside all the clutter and get back in touch with the authentic person and voice God created me to be and to have, and then step out in faith to do what I am supposed to do and be what I am supposed to be, regardless of what my family, friends, colleagues and culture - especially culture - tells me I should be or do.

Most of all, I want to listen to my Savior who said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matt 11:28-30.

As it is written, so may it be done, in my life and in yours.

Tuesday's Story

Wow, awesome Scriptures today in the One-Year Bible reading plan. In the OT it was the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. In the NT it was Jesus' telling the parable of the sower. The Psalm for today (Psalm 17) was awesome too.

Each of these passages assures us that God has a plan for our lives, and for the world as a whole. Why would we ever doubt that? Why do I sometimes doubt it?

I hunted several hours again today. I didn't see a thing this morning, but I saw what I believe to be a large doe this evening. I never really had a clear view of the deer so I'm sure it was supposed to live to fight another day.

I've got one more day of hunting tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be bad down here, so hopefully we'll get our hunt in; of course I don't want bad weather regardless - so hopefully the weather people will be wrong.

May God bless you and yours - Steve