Can You Relate?

Last Sunday in our "Pathways of Discipleship" study we discussed the importance of our presence in worship and smaller groupings as we strive to be progressively formed as followers of Christ. As John Wesley's movement spread and the crowds grew larger and larger Wesley began to notice that those who attended only the larger Society meetings failed to grow spiritually like those who participated in the smaller Class and Band groupings he formed.

There is a reason for this - we all need accountability and encouragement and we all need to live life a little deeper with a few people or else we remain nameless, faceless individuals floating through life with no sense of grounding or belonging. Who I am is defined, in part, by who I am in relationship with. The fewer people I relate to, or know, the less "me" I really am. Restated, we form each other by the web of relationships we are a part of. Connecting with people provides a sense of unity and common purpose that defines us in ways neuroscience has yet to fully explain.

Obviously we can't know everyone though. There is a limit to how many people we can relate to. In class I mentioned that while training to be a church planter I was told the number of people that one person (the pastor) can supposedly keep up with is 167, which is why churches typically stall at this number unless the church puts other networks in place. I failed to mention the science behind the number I gave however.

It turns out I was generous with my number. According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, humans can only comfortably maintain about 150 social relationships.While humans have the ability to facially recognize about 1,500 people, the most a person can really keep up with is 150 (147.8 to be exact).

When Dunbar and his associates went searching they discovered groups of 150 all over the place; among them, the size of a typical fighting unit of Roman soldiers, a neolithic village, and the average Englishman's Christmas Card list. The limiting factor is our brain size - apparently 150 is the number at which our brains just run out of room to keep up with the details of other people's lives. Dunbar has researched this notion so thoroughly that the number 150 is now referred to as "Dunbar's Number" in the scientific community.

How many "friends" do you have on Facebook? How many do you follow on Twitter? What is the average worship attendance of the church you attend? How many people do you work with or know through your job? It turns out there is science behind all these numbers, and their importance should not be taken lightly. We need each other in ways we are only just now beginning to fully understand.

Is Everybody Happy?

The Church Relevance Blog (see sidebar) has a conversation going called “Boring Typical Church” where they point out that according to the Barna Group, “Half of Americans say they know a growing number of people who are tired of the usual type of church experience.” That is an oddly-stated statistic “half of Americans say they know a growing number….” but it appears to mean that at least half of the American population believes a growing number of people are dissatisfied with what is going on in church. And that number is growing.

Of course as we all know, one person’s “trash” is someone else’s “treasure.” One person’s boring or unsatisfactory church experience could be someone else’s dream church experience. What’s worse – these two people with their disparate experiences can be (and often are) sitting in the same church service just a few feet apart.

The responses to the Church Relevance blog post run the usual gamut from rants against the contemporary church with their loud music and mind-numbing media, to assaults on the traditional church with their high-brow services, huge buildings and big budgets while single moms are struggling to pay for diapers.

So what is the answer? How do we proceed? Is there a middle ground? If you were starting a church today, what should you aim to be? I am certainly no expert, but I believe there are a few principles to consider that might prove helpful.

First – whatever you do must be authentic. It must be “you.” We are all guilty of jumping on the latest, greatest bandwagon, regardless of whether what we are mimicking is really “us,” or not. While every church shares the Great Commission to “go and make disciples” each church must discover the distinct ways God is calling that particular congregation to do so.

Second – it must be biblical. Read the Book of Acts. The early church was on fire and everything the church did stemmed from the love of God and issued from dead center of God's will. The Spirit was palpable; there was life, excitement, joy and ministry all done in a spirit of "want to" and not "have to" or "ought to."

Third - the church must concentrate on building relationships. Study after study has shown that people today are searching for community, not another obligation to fulfill or another place to be. The basic principle of church life - the glue that holds churches together whether they are big churches or small ones - is relationships. That's also where smaller churches (like NewSong) have an advantage - if that's what people are searching for, we can do relationships better than the "big guys." What's more, relationships are also essential to effective evangelism.

Finally - and this is the tough one given what I have just said in #3, the church must be outward focused. The buzz word for this today is missional. A missional church is a community (relationships) of disciples (the product) in mission to their community and the world. The bane of every church seems to be that it starts with a passion to change the world by serving others and soon succumbs to an attitude of “serve me” or "it's all about us." The people in the early church did not need to be cajoled or coddled or catered to. There was no “club mentality,” no “what’s-in-it-for-me” mentality back then. Instead the church was a catalyst for change to the world around it. This disease of being excessively inward focused, dubbed koinonitis by C. Peter Wagner, has reached epidemic proportions today. When in doubt about the importance of being missional or outward focused, remember these famous words from Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison) who wrote, “The church is the church only when it exists for others."

I am sure you can think of other important principles. I suppose what I am trying to say is that the answer to the growing dissatisfaction with the church today is not to ask the question, "Is everybody happy?" Instead we should be asking questions like, "Is what we are doing 'us'?" (authentic). "Is what we are doing biblical?" And, "Are we growing closer to one another as we draw closer to God?" (relationships). And finally, "Would our church be missed if it did not exist?" (outward focused).

What do you think?

Days of Small Beginnings

Some days I wake up and everything about planting a church seems overwhelming. We have been at it for nine years now at NewSong and we’re still averaging less than 200 people in worship on any given weekend. Each week it seems like we have to reinvent the wheel about some facet of our service as though it has never been done or thought of before. Even the simplest things, which should have been worked out years ago, still cause us to stumble around as though we are caught unawares or unprepared.

I recognize church-planters don’t have a monopoly on discouragement. Anyone can get discouraged. The hill looks too high to climb. The ditch seems too broad to jump. The odds seem too overwhelming. The finish line seems too far off to even matter.

The book of Zechariah tells us that this is exactly how some of God’s people felt as they went about a task that seemed too big and too difficult for them to accomplish. Zechariah, a prophet of God, was with his fellow Israelites back in Jerusalem after the temple Solomon had built was destroyed.

The Israelites had already rebuilt the walls around the city, but the rebuilding of the temple was still incomplete even after many years of fits and starts. Zechariah struggled to encourage the people to get the temple rebuilt, but progress was slow. The work was inconsistent, and the people’s motivation seemed to come and go. Inner discouragement hindered their ability to consistently follow through with a slow-and-steady building plan. They wanted their efforts to produce more immediate, noticeable, "bigger" results. Boy does that sound familiar!

In the midst of these events, God asks, “Does anyone dare despise this day of small beginnings?” (Zech. 4:10). The question reveals the cause of the Israelites’ discouragement: impatience and short-sightedness. The truth of the matter is, as we have known since the days of Aesop, “slow and steady wins the race.” Building a church involves far more slow, “tortoise” days than fast, “hare” ones. The perception that all you need to do is to get a good praise band together and some cool media and you’ll be the next Northpoint in six months time is simply not true. In fact, the statistics that are regularly quoted indicate that 80 percent of church plants don’t even survive their first year. Church-planting is a day-in, day-out, “grind it out” undertaking. Church-planting is a “two steps forward and one step back” proposition. Church-planting is not for the faint of heart or the weary of step.

And so today I choose to refuse to despise these our days of small beginnings. Today I commit to stay at the wheel, believing our small beginnings will someday produce a great ending. I will choose to hold on to God’s Word even when it seems as though what we’re doing is not making

God's Mission For NewSong I

We will celebrate the ninth birthday of our church next month. Our first service was held on Easter Sunday, April 23, 2000. You would think that after nine years we’d have a pretty good handle on what we’re supposed to be doing as a church and how to do it. Every church, of course, has the common calling of making disciples. The Great Commission, in various incantations, can be found in all four gospels and the book of Acts. No church has the right to opt out of disciple-making. But within that über-calling, each church has its own unique calling because every church is different due to its location, size, culture, personalities, gifting, resources, etc…. Because every church is different, each one must carefully listen and discern who God is calling them to reach, and how he wants that church to reach those people, and what to do with them once they’ve been reached.

We’ve been trying to figure that out at NewSong for quite a while. This post, and a few to follow it, will tell the story of how God’s vision for NewSong has unfolded. It’s kind of a long story, so I’m going to break it up into pieces. This is the beginning of that story.

NewSong started with a Christmas party at our home in December of 1999. I believed God had called me to plant a church so Donna and I invited a few families we had gone to church with before to our house and we asked if they’d pray about helping us plant a church. By the end of the evening we had agreed to start a Bible study and see if people would come and if God would open doors for us in terms of a location to meet and all the other resources we’d need to actually plant a church since we had no denominational or other outside help. And so in January, 2000 we began meeting on Wednesday nights for a time of worship and Bible study at what was then known as the Sawnee Community Center here in Cumming, GA.

As for the mission of the church, I had one in mind when we began the church but in retrospect I now think it was more of a generic mission, "make disciples," gleaned over a few years of reading, working in other church settings, and from planting another church. Because we didn’t understand god’s unique mission for our church at this point we ran off in several directions in the early years. Thankfully, God continued to open doors for us. We made some good decisions and a few bad ones too. Overall our numbers remained fairly steady. We’d gain a few people, and lose a few. We attracted some people who had left other churches and then found us and were happy for a while before the same unresolved issues in them caused them to get disgruntled with us too, and so they left. We had a few people who came to us “wounded” and we provided them a safe place to “heal.” Once they healed some of them moved on, others stayed. We also attracted some strong, spiritually-mature believers. Some of them stayed, and a few of them left too; probably because we were all over the page with what we were doing (or not doing) as a church.

During this timeframe we spent a lot of time and other resources doing what Stan Self (in the Summer 2008 edition of Unfinished, the Mission Society’s magazine) calls the “chicken-house approach” to ministry. Self recalls growing up around chicken houses and how he’d watch the chickens spend their days pecking around in the wood shavings on the floor of the chicken house. As they did, they’d cluster in groups of 10-15 chickens. Every so often, for no apparent reason at all, one of the chickens would look up, then break and run about 20 feet from where it had been. When that happened, all the other chickens in that bunch would dash off en masse in hot pursuit. By the time they caught up, the lead chicken was pecking away in the shavings again. For a moment the other chickens would look around as if they were trying to determine what that was all about. Then they’d join the first chicken in pecking the wood shavings. A few minutes later the same thing would happen in another part of the chicken house, as one group after another would break, run, stop, and peck.

Self’s point, of course is that chickens aren’t the only ones guilty of this. How many churches have set their sights on being the next Saddleback, Willow Creek, or Northpoint? I admit I was guilty of that at NewSong. Not as blatantly nor as badly as I was at a former church plant I was a part of (that’s another story for another day). The point I’m making here, and it’s nothing you probably didn’t already realize, is that these are great churches and there are definitely transferrable principles we can learn from them. But there is only one Saddleback, Willow, and Northpoint and there is only one Rick Warren, Bill Hybels and Andy Stanley. Those churches and their pastors didn’t get the way they are by chasing the lead chicken. They got that way by discerning and focusing on God’s unique calling for them and their churches.

Here is the good news – as far as NewSong is concerned. I believe we are finally beginning to get some clarity about our unique calling and mission. We are finally doing the hard work necessary to discover who God is calling us to reach and how he wants us to reach them. God has also led us to a process where we can take people from being non-believers all the way to the point where they are mature disciples of Christ capable of reproducing other disciples.

In tomorrow’s post I will begin telling the exciting story of how this unfolded. It will hopefully be helpful for me to sort out as I write it, and for our church and its leaders to hear, and, who knows, it might even help some other church leader some day.

Until Then…