Focus

I just spent the last three days with about 200 of my closest friends (fellow extras on a movie set). For ten to twelve hours a day we were holed up in a hot, low-ceilinged basement while small groups of us were taken upstairs to be in scenes. The experience mostly boiled down to a whole lot of "hurry-up-and-wait" (as extra work usually does) and with the numbers present we felt like a herd of cattle being prodded along, but the experience wasn't all drudgery and pain.

One pleasant surprise for me personally was that when I was upstairs filming I was sitting one seat away from an A-list Hollywood actress you would recognize if I used her name. The actress was very polite and kind and is a tremendously gifted artist. She totally earned my respect in our three days together.

One thing I noticed about this actress was the way she could be interacting with her co-stars and others on the set while the cameras and lighting were getting set up and rehearsals were going on, but then, after all the directions were called out by the camera operators, assistant directors, and the sound people, and just before the main director yelled "Action!" this actress would lower her head, take a deep breath, close her eyes and quietly say to herself, "Focus."

This powerful ritual reminded me again of the importance of focus in our lives. Whether it's in business, sports, academia or acting, when it comes to success, we are constantly reminded of the benefits of focus.  And many of those touting the benefits of focus aren't simply doing so from a self-help perspective; there is real science involved in this claim.

Without boring you with a lot of scientific mumbo-jumbo, let me just say this: Studies prove that the brain has millions of bits of information available to it at any one time. This data is generated by our senses: sight, smell, touch, etc...,. Meanwhile, our brains can only process so many of these bits of information at any one time. The brain has automatic filters that operate to prioritize the data that must be processed. The rest of the information is filtered out (ignored) or stored away for future use.

In other words, we have the ability to selectively concentrate on certain items, essentially decluttering the flow of data that is irrelevant to the issue at hand. Focusing amounts to a filtering out and a fine-tuning of what needs to be paid attention to. This is what's happening when a mother is in the midst of a deep sleep of her own and yet hears the softest cry imaginable coming from the baby's room. It's also what happens when an actress stops clowning with her friends and colleagues and consciously draws a laser-like focus on the task at hand and then goes out and knocks her audiences' socks off in a movie scene.

Ours is an age of distraction and focus is in short supply; everyone feels required to multi-task. The simple truth, however, is that if we truly want to be successful - if we want to enjoy the kind of success my new actress friend consistently enjoys - we're going to have to learn to focus as she does. Some of us will have a harder time doing this than others, but all of us will benefit from it. You can be sure of that.

Grateful

I woke up today feeling grateful; ever have days like that? I don't mean "thankful" in the deep, reverent kind of sense of thankfulness. These are not "Thanksgivingesque" feelings I'm feeling. Instead I find myself thankful for a bunch of random, "little things," which I express by using the word "grateful." What am I grateful for? Well...things like:

Friends who don't forget you when you are unemployed, or don't seem to have much to offer. I have a few of these; people who don't judge me by my income or by what I have to offer them, or to society in general. They are just friends who care about me. They encourage me; they double my joy and half my sorrow. I suspect I do the same for them. What a blessing they are (and you know who you are!)

The fact that I am a man. I know this one sounds really odd, but I just finished a book that mainly involved women (The Help by Kathryn Stockett). Honestly, I don't know how women do it; all the things they have to think about, and do and avoid; all the ways their minds are constantly working behind the scenes. It's so much easier being a man. Things are so much simpler, clearer, black and white. Besides, I always have a built-in excuse for any faux pas I might stumble into: "I'm a man, for crying out loud! Gimme a break!"

That neither of my children went through a rebellious phase. I chalk this one up mainly to the influence of their mother. I rebelled, most people I know did. But Donna didn't, and neither did Amy or Leigh. Among my friends whose kids did rebel (or currently are), this seems to be the #1 source of frustration and disappointment in their lives. I, we, were so fortunate in this.

I'm thankful for where I am in my life right now. I realize that sounds odd too: I'm unemployed and have been for over a year, I'm seemingly lost vocationally, one of my closest friends died recently, we don't have a church home, we're burning through our savings at an alarming rate, and I'm questioning a lot of things that I used to be so confident about (perhaps too confident?). But because of all this I find myself closer to God than ever and confident he has me on a great adventure. I'm expecting to come over a hill soon and see an amazing vista of what God has in store. Each day I draw closer to realizing what that "something great" is. I get chills thinking about it.

I'm thankful for the library (see, I told you it was random stuff). It astounds me that I can go over there and check out a book for FREE and enter worlds my measly imagination couldn't begin to think of. I love to read, and thankfully, it's one of the most affordable pastimes in America because good old Ben Franklin had a fantastic book-sharing idea a couple of hundred years ago.

The final addition to my eccentric list of what I'm thankful for today is my new iPhone (and yes I realize how lame and immature that sounds). I'm usually an early adopter to new technology, but I held out a long time on the iPhone. I'm just not an Apple kind of guy. But now that I have one I am totally sold. It is by far the best, easiest to use and coolest (cringe) device I have ever owned.

And so there you have it. Again, nothing deep there, just random things I'm grateful for right now. Yes, there are other, deeper ones (family, health, etc...) but hey, we can't always be deep can we? Have a great day!

Waters of Meribah

Today's Old Testament reading has always troubled me. Numbers 20:1-13 is the story of Moses and Aaron and the people of Israel at the waters of Meribah. The story, in a nutshell, goes like this: The people of Israel are tired, thirsty, and complaining as usual. God has pity on them and so he commands Moses to speak to a rock and water will come out of it for the people. Instead Moses strikes the rock with his staff in anger ("you rebels") and the water gushes forth. At this God says to Moses, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them” (v. 12). True to his word, Moses never gets to enter the promised land. Moses is allowed to climb a mountain and look over into the land, but even there God reminds him of his failure: "I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it" (Ex. 34:4)

For goodness sakes! Moses has done everything God has asked of him; reluctantly sometimes, I'll admit. Just look at his track record: Time and time again he interceded for the Israelites. He never gave up faith in God even when their backs were to the Red Sea. He suffered tremendously for his faith in God. And yet, in one brief moment of anger, Moses disobeys just a little, and zap, he's out.

This strikes me as totally unfair, especially in comparison with other biblical heroes. Noah was a drunkard, Abraham tried to pass his wife off as his sister to save his neck, Jonah ran from God's will, David committed adultery and arranged for a murder. Solomon directly disobeyed God on several occasions (multiple foreign wives, thousands of forbidden horses and chariots). Peter denied Christ three times and Paul persecuted Christians. And yet, here's poor Moses, and he gets the boot for something as minor (relatively speaking) as performing a miracle the wrong way. What's more, God already knew Moses had an anger problem and had already murdered someone before he selected him to lead the people of Israel to freedom. And yet, Moses didn't follow the command to the letter and so, he's out. Where's the mercy? Where's the grace in that? Is God really that performance based? Isn't it about who we are versus what we do anyway? And what about forgiveness?

Yes, I know, I've read numerous commentaries on this passage. I understand Moses' failure to follow God's instructions explicitly was disobedience. I understand how important it is to do exactly what God commands and to do it God's way. And yes, I remember Jesus saying anyone who fails to keep even the tiniest minutiae of the law might as well break the entire law. Yes, I get it that no one is too important to God's work to avoid God's discipline. I guess I'm just feeling for the man. 

Why? I don't know, perhaps I recognize enough of my own behavior in Moses (anger, sinful independence, pride, and stubbornness) that the story is doubly convicting for me on a personal level.

The good news is Moses eventually does make it to the promised land; the real Promised Land. We know that from the account of the Transfiguration given in all three synoptic gospels where Jesus is joined by Moses on the mountain. The fact that Moses was there is an obvious sign that he made it to heaven - the real promised land.

I guess the takeaway from this is that sometimes even when God seems most unfair, he's more fair than we can ever imagine. I suppose another takeaway is that even though it appears all is lost - as was the case when Moses wistfully looked over into the land that would become Israel, it really isn't lost. If nothing else, the way this story sticks in my craw brings to mind something a professor of mine once said. He said it's the stories in the Bible we like the least are those which probably have the most to teach us. Amen to that.

My Town...Our Town

I've had a most pleasant experience over the past few days. On three occasions I've been somewhere in public (Wal-Mart, the AT&T store, and a restaurant) and people have come up to me and said, "You're Steve Jackson, aren't you?" All three people were from churches I have served in the past, and in each case the parties to these conversations have, shall we say, changed a bit since we knew one another so well (hence the "aren't you?").

These encounters remind me how much I love living in a small town where you get to know people, and they remember you, even after time has gone by and circumstances have changed. I don't really know how to express this except to say that life in a small town just seems more "human." So much about our lives today has become nameless and faceless, which makes it nice when the people you see at the ballgame or the grocery store are not all strangers. There's a sense of community that evolves; relationships are built, and reputations are won (and lost) in ways you just don't experience in larger cities. Honesty, integrity and character matter more in a small town. Your name matters, your family matters, and people take the time to stop and chat. They look you in the eye when they talk to you too. I love that. I also love it that you know and care about the folks who live around you and they care about you. Last night in our neighborhood emails were flying about a "suspicious car" seen riding around. Everyone got involved because everyone cared and everyone realized that we're all connected. You just don't get that in an urban area.

The small town feel in our town was even more pronounced when we first moved here in the early eighties, but even though the area has mushroomed with growth, the small town feel abides. I'm thankful for that; and I hope that feeling never goes away in "our town." 

I'll close with some lyrics my favorite song about a town, "Our Town" by Randy Newman. The song is from the Pixar movie Cars and James Taylor sings it.

Long ago, but not so very long ago

The world was different, oh, yes, it was
You settled down and you built a town and made it there
And you watched it grow, it was your town

Time goes by and time brings changes
You've changed too
Nothing comes that you can't handle
So on you go
You never see it coming
When the world caves in on you
On your town, nothing you can do

Main Street isn't Main Street anymore
Lights don't shine as brightly as they shone before
Tell the truth, lights don't shine at all
In our town

Recent Reading

I am a very eclectic reader. I thought for a short Saturday night post I would list a few books I've recently read. If you are a reader and haven't tried them I think you might find some of them interesting. If you have read any on the list I'd love to know what you thought about them. I'd also like to hear what you're reading these days!

Getting Things Done by David Allen: The veteran coach and time management consultant shares the productivity methods he has introduced to tens of thousands of people across the country. It's always good to brush up on how you are getting things done (or not).

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch: When Pausch learns he has incurable pancreatic cancer the Carnegie Mellon professor wrote this book based on a last lecture he gave his students. It is mainly the lessons and values he wants his children to learn and live by once he is gone. Very inspiring.

The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo by Stieg Larsson:  The first volume in the late author's Millennium trilogy. A computer hacker and a journalist investigate the disappearance of a Swedish heiress 40 years earlier. This book is difficult to get into, but once you get going you won't want to put it down.

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls: This is the true story of Walls and her siblings' difficult childhood and eccentric parents. It sounds like it wouldn't be interesting, or that it would be sad, but it's not. It's a good read.

When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough by Harold Kushner. In this book Rabbi Kushner uses the Book of Ecclesiastes to explain why living is worthwhile and can be a joy, especially if we get our focus right.

The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson:  The second volume of Larsson's Millennium trilogy in which a Swedish hacker becomes a murder suspect. Like the first book, character Lisabeth Salander keeps surprising you; another stay-up-all-night to read book. Quick shout-out to friend Doug Davis for turning me on to Larsson's trilogy!

In the Company of Others by Jan Karon. This is the second "Father Tim" book by Karon who wrote the charming Mitford books. In this book the beloved Episcopal priest and his wife head across the Atlantic on a long-awaited vacation in Ireland only to find mystery and intrigue. Not as good as the Mitford series, but Karon is a wonderful writer and always leaves me feeling better about things.

The Air I Breathe by Louie Giglio: In this short book the Passion Conference and Passion City Church leader bares his heart for worship, describing it as something we all do whether we realize it or not; it is as natural and as essential as the air we breathe.

Johnny U: The Life and Times of Johnny Unitas by Tom Callahan: Drawing on numerous interviews with colleagues, competitors, and The Man himself, Callahan offers a interesting behind-the-scenes portrait of the legendary quarterback who was voted one of the greatest players of the last 50 years.

Tick Tock by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge: In Patterson's billionth best-selling book, New York detective Michael Bennett returns to enlist the help of a former colleague to solve a rash of horrifying crimes that are throwing NYC into chaos.

The Emperor of Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee: A powerful and ambitious "biography" of cancer and its treatment by this compassionate and "readable" doctor and researcher. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has been touched by cancer (and who hasn't in some way?).

We Love to Watch

Unless you've been hiding under a rock the past week you can't help but have heard or seen Charlie Sheen and his ongoing, unnerving public meltdown. It's a curious phenomenon, why we are so engrossed in it. Sheen set a record on Twitter, opening an account on Tuesday and garnering over one million followers in 24 hours. One commentator I read this week, playing off one of Sheen's notorious recent quotes, observed that "we're all on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen."

Why is it we are so engrossed in this? Don't forget, Sheen isn't the first to stagger towards a precipice and tumble into trouble (e.g. Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Lindsey Lohan, etc...); Sheen is only the latest and, honestly, the most spectacular (so far) at doing so. Admit it, we love to watch them fall: sports figures, actors, religious leaders, politicians. It doesn't matter - the bigger the name and the better the image, the better the fall as far as we are concerned. 

Is it because it makes us feel better about our own lives to watch a celebrity worth millions (Sheen makes $2Mil per episode of his show), with every advantage and luxury known to man (trainers, tanners, chefs, and nannies), stumble and fall? Are we envious for heaven's sake?  Or is it that age-old instinct where we just "have to look" even though we know what we're about to see is horrific? My guess is even way back when a chariot was a modern conveyance and people happened upon an accident scene they had trouble averting their eyes from the carnage. Are we simply rubber-necking? Is it because people can do such horrible things to themselves and somehow, for some reason we love to watch?

I have to admit it, I find Sheen as funny as the next guy - probably because he has the guts to say out loud things that many of us think to ourselves anyway (the man has no 'inner dialogue'). In that sense, I suppose I'm partially responsible for his behavior. Because we do love to watch, we're egging him on and therefore at least partly responsible for his craziness. Don't get me wrong, Sheen himself is ultimately responsible for his actions, but the show he gets paid so much to star in is built around the character he is currently playing out - for real - in the media. Since the ratings and advertising dollars generated by the show come from "us," then "we" are technically paying him to act this way, we are at least partially responsible.

Our complicity in Sheen's behavior is a scary because Sheen is clearly a man in crisis. His problems appear to be even deeper than "just" addiction to alcohol, sex and drugs. I'm sure he'd say "keep your prayers to yourself," but I, for one am praying he comes out of this tailspin before he crashes into the ground - for himself and for us who love to watch, but honestly, really don't want to see.

I Said What?

I had a new experience today (it seems I've been having my share of those lately). This time my Facebook account was hacked.

Apparently it has become popular for spammers and people wanting to sell things or to spread viruses to set up fake Facebook profiles. They go to your page, snitch a few photos, and voila "they" appear to be "you." Call it "social network identity theft." The goal of the hackers runs the gamut from the fairly innocent to the horrifyingly scary. They may simply send weird notes to your friends or post inappropriate statuses, or they may use your name and face to get others to click on a site so they can try to sell something or show lewd photos. Worse yet, they may use this ploy to spread computer viruses to anyone that clicks a link the fake you recommends.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I logged on to Facebook and began scrolling down to see what kind of day everyone was having so far only to find I had "liked" several inappropriate videos and "said" things I would never say! Goodness - I get in enough trouble for things I actually do say without having some scoundrel put words in my mouth! But there they were, right alongside my smiling face as if I had written them (or recommended them). I'm sure there is a sermon in here somewhere; or if not, a great sermon illustration.

Oh well, what's a person to do? I suppose I could delete my Facebook account and not have to worry about it happening again. I'm sure some would say I deserve what happened for being a part of the social networking world and for having the information out there to begin with. No... I don't plan to let the bad guys win. I've beefed up the security on my account and changed my password. I also changed my profile photo and I plan to do these things more frequently in the future; that way if someone wants to use their fake Facebook account they're going to have to work to keep up with me.

I'd love to hear from you if you've had a similar experience. If not; beware... the bad guys are out there and someday you may find yourself responding to someone by saying, "I said what?"