I ran across a great quote in a book I just finished, the Greek Tragedy Ajax by Sophocles. The quote is by the eponymous Greek hero, who is second only to Achilles in strength and valor in the Trojan war. His statement addresses how to conduct your life. He says,
"Better all at once to take our chances at living or dying, than be worn away slowly by the dreadful slaughter. . ." (Illiad 15.511 ff)
Not a bad way to live - just go for it. Are you currently being "worn away slowly" by some dreadful slaughter? Listen to Ajax my friend. . .
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Augustine'sConfessions
I just finished reading The Confessions of St. Augustine, a book I had previously read in seminary. This book chronicles the author’s life moving from his infancy and rebellious adolescence, through succeeding periods of doubt and misplaced religious loyalties, to his eventual conversion to the Catholic faith under Bishop Ambrose, another famous church father.
Augustine was born in 354 AD to a Christian mother and a pagan father. After a very “worldly” adolescence he first embraced Manichaeism, then Neo-Platonism. Finally, after years of prayer by his devoted mother, Monica, on Easter Sunday, 387 AD, at the age of 33, Augustine was baptized. He was later ordained Bishop of Hippo in Northern Africa in 395. He died in 430 AD, just a few years before the fall of the Roman Empire.
The Confessions were written in 397 AD in a series of thirteen chapters called “books.” The first nine books are basically autobiographical and cover the years 354-87; the last three books are a mainly an allegorical commentary on the first chapter of Genesis. I must admit that this concluding section of this book is a bit tedious. It includes long-winded philosophical and theological arguments that remind me of reading Moby Dick where H. Melville felt it necessary to describe the physiology of whales and mechanics of whaling in excruciating detail. For example in Book 10 the author provides a long discussion of the nature of memory. Then in Book 11 he includes a long (and confusing) discussion of the nature of time. These parts are so tough to read that some translators and editors even abridge the book by leaving out all or parts of these Books.
The fascinating parts of the book are where the author speaks in first person to God and we are allowed to “overhear” that conversation. The Confessions were one of the first personal histories ever written. Everyone can relate as Augustine recounts his struggles with doubt and his struggles against sin. He writes, “For as I became a youth, I longed to be satisfied with worldly things, and I dared to grow wild in a succession of various and shadowy loves. My form wasted away and I became corrupt in your [God’s] eyes, yet I was still pleasing to my own eyes – and eager to please the eyes of men” [2.2.2]. Augustine goes on to share how his sins were due to a “misdirection” of his gifts away from God (the Creator) and toward the material, created world. Augustine describes how he delayed his conversion and baptism, fearing he would fall again into sin: “I delayed my conversion to the Lord; I postponed from day to day the life in you [God], but I could not postpone the daily death in myself. I was enamored of a happy life, but I still feared to seek it in its own abode and so I fled from it while I sought it. I thought I would be miserable if I were deprived of the embraces of a woman….for I imagined that it depended on one’s own strength, though I found no such strength in myself…” [6.11.20] Eventually Augustine would father a son out of wedlock and “become more wretched as you [God] came nearer” before finally becoming a Christian. This finally occurred in a garden in Milan where Augustine had fled while wracked with doubt, guilt and grief. While in the garden he overheard a child from a neighboring house chanting, “Take up and read, take up and read” (Tolle lege, Tolle lege) which Augustine took as a sign to pick up his Bible and read the first passage he came to, which happened to be Romans 13:11-14,
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”
Upon reading this, Augustine made a full commitment to Christ and immediately felt blessed by doing so. He writes, “I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to, for instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away” [8.12.28].
I enjoyed reading the book, but honestly, Augustine “confesses” all we really need to learn from it on the very first page. For there, at the beginning of Book One we read Augustine’s confession of praise, taken from Psalms 145 and 147, “You are great, Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is your power, and infinite your wisdom” [1.1.1). He also confesses the reason we must “confess” on that very same first page, “For you have made us for yourself and restless is our heart until it comes to rest in you” [1.1.1].
I encourage you to read this book, if for nothing else than to improve your prayer life. You will be blessed if you do “take up and read” as the author - and I did.
Augustine was born in 354 AD to a Christian mother and a pagan father. After a very “worldly” adolescence he first embraced Manichaeism, then Neo-Platonism. Finally, after years of prayer by his devoted mother, Monica, on Easter Sunday, 387 AD, at the age of 33, Augustine was baptized. He was later ordained Bishop of Hippo in Northern Africa in 395. He died in 430 AD, just a few years before the fall of the Roman Empire.
The Confessions were written in 397 AD in a series of thirteen chapters called “books.” The first nine books are basically autobiographical and cover the years 354-87; the last three books are a mainly an allegorical commentary on the first chapter of Genesis. I must admit that this concluding section of this book is a bit tedious. It includes long-winded philosophical and theological arguments that remind me of reading Moby Dick where H. Melville felt it necessary to describe the physiology of whales and mechanics of whaling in excruciating detail. For example in Book 10 the author provides a long discussion of the nature of memory. Then in Book 11 he includes a long (and confusing) discussion of the nature of time. These parts are so tough to read that some translators and editors even abridge the book by leaving out all or parts of these Books.
The fascinating parts of the book are where the author speaks in first person to God and we are allowed to “overhear” that conversation. The Confessions were one of the first personal histories ever written. Everyone can relate as Augustine recounts his struggles with doubt and his struggles against sin. He writes, “For as I became a youth, I longed to be satisfied with worldly things, and I dared to grow wild in a succession of various and shadowy loves. My form wasted away and I became corrupt in your [God’s] eyes, yet I was still pleasing to my own eyes – and eager to please the eyes of men” [2.2.2]. Augustine goes on to share how his sins were due to a “misdirection” of his gifts away from God (the Creator) and toward the material, created world. Augustine describes how he delayed his conversion and baptism, fearing he would fall again into sin: “I delayed my conversion to the Lord; I postponed from day to day the life in you [God], but I could not postpone the daily death in myself. I was enamored of a happy life, but I still feared to seek it in its own abode and so I fled from it while I sought it. I thought I would be miserable if I were deprived of the embraces of a woman….for I imagined that it depended on one’s own strength, though I found no such strength in myself…” [6.11.20] Eventually Augustine would father a son out of wedlock and “become more wretched as you [God] came nearer” before finally becoming a Christian. This finally occurred in a garden in Milan where Augustine had fled while wracked with doubt, guilt and grief. While in the garden he overheard a child from a neighboring house chanting, “Take up and read, take up and read” (Tolle lege, Tolle lege) which Augustine took as a sign to pick up his Bible and read the first passage he came to, which happened to be Romans 13:11-14,
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”
Upon reading this, Augustine made a full commitment to Christ and immediately felt blessed by doing so. He writes, “I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to, for instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away” [8.12.28].
I enjoyed reading the book, but honestly, Augustine “confesses” all we really need to learn from it on the very first page. For there, at the beginning of Book One we read Augustine’s confession of praise, taken from Psalms 145 and 147, “You are great, Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is your power, and infinite your wisdom” [1.1.1). He also confesses the reason we must “confess” on that very same first page, “For you have made us for yourself and restless is our heart until it comes to rest in you” [1.1.1].
I encourage you to read this book, if for nothing else than to improve your prayer life. You will be blessed if you do “take up and read” as the author - and I did.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Staying Busy...
Now that I am not gainfully employed I thought I would have lots of spare time and not much to do. Oddly enough, that is not the case. I seem to be busier than ever. The sad thing is, much of what I am doing now, I was getting done before - in my spare time.
This has taught me a couple of lessons. First, most of us usually get done what needs to get done, regardless of how long it takes. In other words, at least some of what I am doing now may not necessarily need to be done because I wouldn't have had time for it before so it would not have gotten done. Two possibilities go against this line of thinking. First, there is the old axiom that says that our work expands to fill the time available; that is to say, I'm taking much longer to get my stuff done now that I have extra time. The second possibility is that with the extra time I now have I am noticing things that need to be done that I previously would have not have noticed.
The second lesson I have learned is I am beginning to suspect that much of what I was doing before as a pastor may not have been the most important things I could have been doing. When I look back at my schedule then, I see that I spent lots of time completing tasks that either did not need doing at all, or else they should have been delegated to others, leaving me more time to be with people, to pray, to study, etc....
This week as I enter my fourth week since leaving my job, I still have not found my rhythm. I believe I am afraid to simply be still and just "be" before God and my family and friends. I know I must do this before I can even begin thinking about what I should do next. There is healing that must occur. I need to get comfortable in my own skin. I need to relax and rest in God and his provision for me, and in his estimate of my worth.
Please join me in praying this will begin to happen.
This has taught me a couple of lessons. First, most of us usually get done what needs to get done, regardless of how long it takes. In other words, at least some of what I am doing now may not necessarily need to be done because I wouldn't have had time for it before so it would not have gotten done. Two possibilities go against this line of thinking. First, there is the old axiom that says that our work expands to fill the time available; that is to say, I'm taking much longer to get my stuff done now that I have extra time. The second possibility is that with the extra time I now have I am noticing things that need to be done that I previously would have not have noticed.
The second lesson I have learned is I am beginning to suspect that much of what I was doing before as a pastor may not have been the most important things I could have been doing. When I look back at my schedule then, I see that I spent lots of time completing tasks that either did not need doing at all, or else they should have been delegated to others, leaving me more time to be with people, to pray, to study, etc....
This week as I enter my fourth week since leaving my job, I still have not found my rhythm. I believe I am afraid to simply be still and just "be" before God and my family and friends. I know I must do this before I can even begin thinking about what I should do next. There is healing that must occur. I need to get comfortable in my own skin. I need to relax and rest in God and his provision for me, and in his estimate of my worth.
Please join me in praying this will begin to happen.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Being Perfect
I just finished reading Anna Quindlen's little book, "Being Perfect." While I frequently disagree with Quindlen as a journalist (she writes a column for Newsweek), I have to admit she is right on the money with her thoughts in this memoir-like book.
Quindlen claims our efforts to be "perfect" are like "carrying a backpack filled with books every single day." She urges her readers to lay this burden down, to "put down that backpack before you develop permanent curvature of the spirit." Our attempts to be perfect, Quindlen argues, actually involve little more than imitating others. All one has to do is read the culture you are a part of (what are people eating, wearing, reading, believing, etc...) and then come up with the imitation necessary to fit in, or, better yet, the imitation you will have to be in order to be judged a "success."
To illustrate this the author recounts her arrival at Manhattan's Barnard College. She arrived there in 1970 "with a trunk of perfect pleated kilts and perfect monogrammed sweaters" but by Christmas break had exchanged that wardrobe for "another perfect uniform: overalls, turtlenecks, clogs, and the perfect New York City college affect, part hypercerebral, part ennui."
What's wrong with that? In one of the most powerful statements she makes in the book Quindlen declares that "nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations." She continues:
"What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. Begin with that most frightening of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am."
I have no doubt that I got as much out of "Being Perfect" as I did because of where I am right now in my own journey. As I close one chapter in my life and turn expectantly toward the next, I do not want to miss the best things God has in store for Donna and me because of my fear of taking a chance - of making the leap - of embracing the risk involved with living life boldly. I want to listen to one voice - to the One Voice who formed me and created me and has lovingly cared for me these 53 journeys around the sun. I need to push aside all the clutter and get back in touch with the authentic person and voice God created me to be and to have, and then step out in faith to do what I am supposed to do and be what I am supposed to be, regardless of what my family, friends, colleagues and culture - especially culture - tells me I should be or do.
Most of all, I want to listen to my Savior who said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matt 11:28-30.
As it is written, so may it be done, in my life and in yours.
Quindlen claims our efforts to be "perfect" are like "carrying a backpack filled with books every single day." She urges her readers to lay this burden down, to "put down that backpack before you develop permanent curvature of the spirit." Our attempts to be perfect, Quindlen argues, actually involve little more than imitating others. All one has to do is read the culture you are a part of (what are people eating, wearing, reading, believing, etc...) and then come up with the imitation necessary to fit in, or, better yet, the imitation you will have to be in order to be judged a "success."
To illustrate this the author recounts her arrival at Manhattan's Barnard College. She arrived there in 1970 "with a trunk of perfect pleated kilts and perfect monogrammed sweaters" but by Christmas break had exchanged that wardrobe for "another perfect uniform: overalls, turtlenecks, clogs, and the perfect New York City college affect, part hypercerebral, part ennui."
What's wrong with that? In one of the most powerful statements she makes in the book Quindlen declares that "nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations." She continues:
"What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. Begin with that most frightening of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am."
I have no doubt that I got as much out of "Being Perfect" as I did because of where I am right now in my own journey. As I close one chapter in my life and turn expectantly toward the next, I do not want to miss the best things God has in store for Donna and me because of my fear of taking a chance - of making the leap - of embracing the risk involved with living life boldly. I want to listen to one voice - to the One Voice who formed me and created me and has lovingly cared for me these 53 journeys around the sun. I need to push aside all the clutter and get back in touch with the authentic person and voice God created me to be and to have, and then step out in faith to do what I am supposed to do and be what I am supposed to be, regardless of what my family, friends, colleagues and culture - especially culture - tells me I should be or do.
Most of all, I want to listen to my Savior who said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Matt 11:28-30.
As it is written, so may it be done, in my life and in yours.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday's Story
Wow, awesome Scriptures today in the One-Year Bible reading plan. In the OT it was the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. In the NT it was Jesus' telling the parable of the sower. The Psalm for today (Psalm 17) was awesome too.
Each of these passages assures us that God has a plan for our lives, and for the world as a whole. Why would we ever doubt that? Why do I sometimes doubt it?
I hunted several hours again today. I didn't see a thing this morning, but I saw what I believe to be a large doe this evening. I never really had a clear view of the deer so I'm sure it was supposed to live to fight another day.
I've got one more day of hunting tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be bad down here, so hopefully we'll get our hunt in; of course I don't want bad weather regardless - so hopefully the weather people will be wrong.
May God bless you and yours - Steve
Each of these passages assures us that God has a plan for our lives, and for the world as a whole. Why would we ever doubt that? Why do I sometimes doubt it?
I hunted several hours again today. I didn't see a thing this morning, but I saw what I believe to be a large doe this evening. I never really had a clear view of the deer so I'm sure it was supposed to live to fight another day.
I've got one more day of hunting tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be bad down here, so hopefully we'll get our hunt in; of course I don't want bad weather regardless - so hopefully the weather people will be wrong.
May God bless you and yours - Steve
Hunting
On Monday I spent approximately 5 hours in the woods hunting deer. For those of you who don't know about deer hunting, it's not really what you think. You sit in a stand and wait for deer to walk by - you aren't really walking through the woods looking for deer as the name seems to indicate.
I'll be honest with you - most of the time deer hunting is pretty boring. You sit there for hours, usually you are quite cold, and 99.9 percent of the time nothing is happening. But then there is that .10 of time (or is it .01?) when you hear a twig snap in the woods nearby, or you sense movement in the brush, or you actually see a deer. Suddenly your heart starts racing, and the drudgery of waiting is quickly forgotten.
This morning's hunt found me on "Steve's Stand," a stand named after me by my family down here because I am the one who hunts in the stand the most. This morning was a beautiful, cold, crisp morning after two straight days of rain. I was in my stand before dawn, and as the sun slowly began to rise, the trees and ground all around my stand were practically covered with birds of every type. There were sparrows, mockingbirds, blue jays, robins, cardinals, doves, crows, chickadees, brown thrashers, rufous-sided towhees and a few species I could not identify. The birds don't realize I'm in the stand, so some of them fly up and actually sit on the stand with me - it's so cool. It makes me feel very close to creation, and to God.
By the end of the day I still had not seen any deer, but I'll be right back out there in the morning. You never know; tomorrow might be the day a "big'un" walks by. I hope to have a more exciting report tomorrow.... until then, good-night.
I'll be honest with you - most of the time deer hunting is pretty boring. You sit there for hours, usually you are quite cold, and 99.9 percent of the time nothing is happening. But then there is that .10 of time (or is it .01?) when you hear a twig snap in the woods nearby, or you sense movement in the brush, or you actually see a deer. Suddenly your heart starts racing, and the drudgery of waiting is quickly forgotten.
This morning's hunt found me on "Steve's Stand," a stand named after me by my family down here because I am the one who hunts in the stand the most. This morning was a beautiful, cold, crisp morning after two straight days of rain. I was in my stand before dawn, and as the sun slowly began to rise, the trees and ground all around my stand were practically covered with birds of every type. There were sparrows, mockingbirds, blue jays, robins, cardinals, doves, crows, chickadees, brown thrashers, rufous-sided towhees and a few species I could not identify. The birds don't realize I'm in the stand, so some of them fly up and actually sit on the stand with me - it's so cool. It makes me feel very close to creation, and to God.
By the end of the day I still had not seen any deer, but I'll be right back out there in the morning. You never know; tomorrow might be the day a "big'un" walks by. I hope to have a more exciting report tomorrow.... until then, good-night.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sunday Morning
Today is Sunday morning and it feels weird not to be responsible for a worship service somewhere. Actually I wasn't responsible last week at our farewell service at NewSong - but it really feels weird today. I am in another state at the present moment - my "adopted" home state of Mississippi. I'm about to go to a small country Baptist church - one where my Dad was a member when he was a young man. In fact, there is a family legend that says that Dad was the song-leader at this church many years ago. I would have loved to have seen that.
The good thing is - God will meet me at that church this morning. He'll meet folks in churches all over the planet today; under tall banyan trees in Africa, in frozen villages in northern climes, in major cities, in secret, hidden-away rooms in countries where Christianity is outlawed, and in little brick or frame country churches, complete with a cemetery just outside the door like the church I'm about to go to this morning. After all, that's why I'm going to church this morning - to meet with God.
I just finished reading the story of Jacob in Genesis. Jacob had a very famous meeting with God and so he set up a stone and named the place Bethel, "House of God," because, as he said, "Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place" (see Gen. 28:11-19).
The Psalm for the day is Psalm 15, where the Psalmist asks, "Who LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?" and then he (David) goes on to answer the question...
"He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken."
That's not a bad code for living.
Help me, Father, to meet you at "your house" today, and to begin living the way David spoke of ... even if just for today. Amen
The good thing is - God will meet me at that church this morning. He'll meet folks in churches all over the planet today; under tall banyan trees in Africa, in frozen villages in northern climes, in major cities, in secret, hidden-away rooms in countries where Christianity is outlawed, and in little brick or frame country churches, complete with a cemetery just outside the door like the church I'm about to go to this morning. After all, that's why I'm going to church this morning - to meet with God.
I just finished reading the story of Jacob in Genesis. Jacob had a very famous meeting with God and so he set up a stone and named the place Bethel, "House of God," because, as he said, "Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place" (see Gen. 28:11-19).
The Psalm for the day is Psalm 15, where the Psalmist asks, "Who LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?" and then he (David) goes on to answer the question...
"He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken."
That's not a bad code for living.
Help me, Father, to meet you at "your house" today, and to begin living the way David spoke of ... even if just for today. Amen
Friday, January 15, 2010
Loose Ends
Well... the feeling of being at "loose ends" has arrived. I feel disconnected, spaced out, unneeded and, well, lost. I'm pretty sure this has to do with a couple of issues I mentioned in a recent post: first, my inordinate need for approval - my "need to be needed" and second, my continual efforts at earning God's grace by "doing" instead of just resting in Him. I am a chronic list-maker and a doer and when you go from 1000 mph to zero, it's frightening and more than a little disconcerting.
While journaling this morning I mused about how many times in the recent past I have said, "If only I had the time...." But now that I "have the time" I feel like a limbless spider that has no way to move about - I'm just bumping around, spinning, going nowhere.
I'm not surprised, of course, at least I know myself that well. I guess what I am surprised about is how quickly this feeling overtook me. I had planned to get away on a trip beginning yesterday, which would have helped, but that trip has apparently fallen through. I wonder, is this God's way of making me sit still and just be present in the moment? Or are there more sinister forces at work?
I dunno... we will see, I suppose. For now I've got clothes to do, then I'm going to Wal-Mart for groceries, then I've got to wash the Trailblazer, and then there's cooking to do for tonight...
Oh well, maybe some day I will learn to "Be still, and know that I am God" - Psalms 46:10
While journaling this morning I mused about how many times in the recent past I have said, "If only I had the time...." But now that I "have the time" I feel like a limbless spider that has no way to move about - I'm just bumping around, spinning, going nowhere.
I'm not surprised, of course, at least I know myself that well. I guess what I am surprised about is how quickly this feeling overtook me. I had planned to get away on a trip beginning yesterday, which would have helped, but that trip has apparently fallen through. I wonder, is this God's way of making me sit still and just be present in the moment? Or are there more sinister forces at work?
I dunno... we will see, I suppose. For now I've got clothes to do, then I'm going to Wal-Mart for groceries, then I've got to wash the Trailblazer, and then there's cooking to do for tonight...
Oh well, maybe some day I will learn to "Be still, and know that I am God" - Psalms 46:10
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Pray with Us
Even though absolutely no one in the world knows this blog exists at the present moment, I know it will soon be discovered by someone. Knowing this I ask you to take a moment to pray with me for Donna's and my future.
Over the next few weeks we will be praying about the callings God is stirring in us. We want more than anything to discern what we are most passionate about, and then to follow that calling. Please join us in prayer that God would make that crystal clear in our heart of hearts.
What an exciting adventure we are embarking on together!
Over the next few weeks we will be praying about the callings God is stirring in us. We want more than anything to discern what we are most passionate about, and then to follow that calling. Please join us in prayer that God would make that crystal clear in our heart of hearts.
What an exciting adventure we are embarking on together!
About the Name
You may be wondering why I chose the name, "All the Good" for my new blog. The title comes from one of my spiritual mentors, John Wesley who once said,
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
Now that I am free of the day-to-day obligations of a parish minister, it is my desire to be used of God any way I can. Like Paul I desire to be "poured out" (Phil. 2:17) as a "living sacrifice" (Rom. 12:1) for God.
I intend to take Wesley's motto of conduct above, as my own. Father, in your mercy help me.
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
Now that I am free of the day-to-day obligations of a parish minister, it is my desire to be used of God any way I can. Like Paul I desire to be "poured out" (Phil. 2:17) as a "living sacrifice" (Rom. 12:1) for God.
I intend to take Wesley's motto of conduct above, as my own. Father, in your mercy help me.
My New Blog
Hello World,
Welcome to my new blog, which takes the place of my old blog, Life's Mirror. If I can figure out how to import those posts, I will, but in the event I cannot, that's okay too.
There have been significant changes in my life. On January 2, 2010 I resigned from a ten-year pastorate, a church I founded. I had a dream that I would be able to stay at that church forever; that I would be able to grow and change along with it as the years went by. But that was not the case. I simply do not possess the pastoral skills needed at this particular time in the life of that congregation, despite my deep heart-felt desire to lead it until I retire.
I am very grateful for ten years of productive ministry there, but now God is calling me to something else. I do not know what that something else is yet. I just know it is time for me to leave. In that regard I feel a bit like Abraham, whom God told to pack up and get moving. Abraham didn't know where he was going, or how long he would be gone, or what he would find when he got wherever it was he was supposed to go. He simply knew it was time to go and so he went and that's pretty much how it went down.
I realize now that I had created a kind of safe-haven at the church I founded where I was comfortable. To be perfectly honest, most of what I was doing there could be done pretty much without God's help. Nothing supernatural happened. There was nothing radical or dangerous or different about what we were doing or the way we were living. I had sold my soul for a steady paycheck. I had turned my calling into a career. Meanwhile, though I consistently preached God's grace to others, I was still desperately trying to earn God's love myself. And even that was not enough. I needed the approval of others. This aspect of my self-understanding came to light during a particularly painful episode last summer when we made some difficult, though I believe, God-inspired decisions that caused several families to leave the church. As I watched them leave I came to realize just how dependent I am upon the approval of others despite my claims to the contrary. I have an unhealthy desire to be well thought-of and respected by others.
In the end I was doing little more than playing religious games and "doing church" and was totally missing out on the Kingdom of God. All my cute illustrations and snazzy PowerPoints and interesting anecdotes are a poor substitute for the amazing love and pure gospel of Jesus Christ.
It is time to stop walking in the strength of my own flesh and to begin walking in the power of God's Spirit. It's not about how competent I am as a man, or a husband or father, or a pastor. It's all about how much I am loved by my Creator. It's time to get to know Him better. It's time to really trust him; and to live like I do. Let the journey begin.
Welcome to my new blog, which takes the place of my old blog, Life's Mirror. If I can figure out how to import those posts, I will, but in the event I cannot, that's okay too.
There have been significant changes in my life. On January 2, 2010 I resigned from a ten-year pastorate, a church I founded. I had a dream that I would be able to stay at that church forever; that I would be able to grow and change along with it as the years went by. But that was not the case. I simply do not possess the pastoral skills needed at this particular time in the life of that congregation, despite my deep heart-felt desire to lead it until I retire.
I am very grateful for ten years of productive ministry there, but now God is calling me to something else. I do not know what that something else is yet. I just know it is time for me to leave. In that regard I feel a bit like Abraham, whom God told to pack up and get moving. Abraham didn't know where he was going, or how long he would be gone, or what he would find when he got wherever it was he was supposed to go. He simply knew it was time to go and so he went and that's pretty much how it went down.
I realize now that I had created a kind of safe-haven at the church I founded where I was comfortable. To be perfectly honest, most of what I was doing there could be done pretty much without God's help. Nothing supernatural happened. There was nothing radical or dangerous or different about what we were doing or the way we were living. I had sold my soul for a steady paycheck. I had turned my calling into a career. Meanwhile, though I consistently preached God's grace to others, I was still desperately trying to earn God's love myself. And even that was not enough. I needed the approval of others. This aspect of my self-understanding came to light during a particularly painful episode last summer when we made some difficult, though I believe, God-inspired decisions that caused several families to leave the church. As I watched them leave I came to realize just how dependent I am upon the approval of others despite my claims to the contrary. I have an unhealthy desire to be well thought-of and respected by others.
In the end I was doing little more than playing religious games and "doing church" and was totally missing out on the Kingdom of God. All my cute illustrations and snazzy PowerPoints and interesting anecdotes are a poor substitute for the amazing love and pure gospel of Jesus Christ.
It is time to stop walking in the strength of my own flesh and to begin walking in the power of God's Spirit. It's not about how competent I am as a man, or a husband or father, or a pastor. It's all about how much I am loved by my Creator. It's time to get to know Him better. It's time to really trust him; and to live like I do. Let the journey begin.
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