Staying Busy...

Now that I am not gainfully employed I thought I would have lots of spare time and not much to do. Oddly enough, that is not the case. I seem to be busier than ever. The sad thing is, much of what I am doing now, I was getting done before - in my spare time.

This has taught me a couple of lessons. First, most of us usually get done what needs to get done, regardless of how long it takes. In other words, at least some of what I am doing now may not necessarily need to be done because I wouldn't have had time for it before so it would not have gotten done. Two possibilities go against this line of thinking. First, there is the old axiom that says that our work expands to fill the time available; that is to say, I'm taking much longer to get my stuff done now that I have extra time. The second possibility is that with the extra time I now have I am noticing things that need to be done that I previously would have not have noticed.

The second lesson I have learned is I am beginning to suspect that much of what I was doing before as a pastor may not have been the most important things I could have been doing. When I look back at my schedule then, I see that I spent lots of time completing tasks that either did not need doing at all, or else they should have been delegated to others, leaving me more time to be with people, to pray, to study, etc....

This week as I enter my fourth week since leaving my job, I still have not found my rhythm. I believe I am afraid to simply be still and just "be" before God and my family and friends. I know I must do this before I can even begin thinking about what I should do next. There is healing that must occur. I need to get comfortable in my own skin. I need to relax and rest in God and his provision for me, and in his estimate of my worth.

Please join me in praying this will begin to happen.