My New Blog

Hello World,

Welcome to my new blog, which takes the place of my old blog, Life's Mirror. If I can figure out how to import those posts, I will, but in the event I cannot, that's okay too.

There have been significant changes in my life. On January 2, 2010 I resigned from a ten-year pastorate, a church I founded. I had a dream that I would be able to stay at that church forever; that I would be able to grow and change along with it as the years went by. But that was not the case. I simply do not possess the pastoral skills needed at this particular time in the life of that congregation, despite my deep heart-felt desire to lead it until I retire.

I am very grateful for ten years of productive ministry there, but now God is calling me to something else. I do not know what that something else is yet. I just know it is time for me to leave. In that regard I feel a bit like Abraham, whom God told to pack up and get moving. Abraham didn't know where he was going, or how long he would be gone, or what he would find when he got wherever it was he was supposed to go. He simply knew it was time to go and so he went and that's pretty much how it went down.

I realize now that I had created a kind of safe-haven at the church I founded where I was comfortable. To be perfectly honest, most of what I was doing there could be done pretty much without God's help. Nothing supernatural happened. There was nothing radical or dangerous or different about what we were doing or the way we were living. I had sold my soul for a steady paycheck. I had turned my calling into a career. Meanwhile, though I consistently preached God's grace to others, I was still desperately trying to earn God's love myself. And even that was not enough. I needed the approval of others. This aspect of my self-understanding came to light during a particularly painful episode last summer when we made some difficult, though I believe, God-inspired decisions that caused several families to leave the church. As I watched them leave I came to realize just how dependent I am upon the approval of others despite my claims to the contrary. I have an unhealthy desire to be well thought-of and respected by others.

In the end I was doing little more than playing religious games and "doing church" and was totally missing out on the Kingdom of God. All my cute illustrations and snazzy PowerPoints and interesting anecdotes are a poor substitute for the amazing love and pure gospel of Jesus Christ.

It is time to stop walking in the strength of my own flesh and to begin walking in the power of God's Spirit. It's not about how competent I am as a man, or a husband or father, or a pastor. It's all about how much I am loved by my Creator. It's time to get to know Him better. It's time to really trust him; and to live like I do. Let the journey begin.