Friends

Someone once said there comes a time in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Lately I've been thinking about the friends I've had through the years and the truth of this saying has really come shining through.

I believe people fall into two main categories when it comes to friends. Some people have tons of friends, with some friendships deeper than others, of course. But seldom do these folks have what you'd call a "best friend." Others of us don't have that many friends, but those we do have we invest ourselves in, we become transparent and vulnerable to them, and we usually have them for life. When we see such a friend after several years apart we find we can pick up right where we left off the last time we were together, whether it was in the fourth grade, high school, college, or years later. This, by the way, can lead to some pretty embarrassing situations; imagine a couple of fifty-something year-old men acting like fourth graders and you get the picture.

I had a long phone conversation tonight with my best friend in the 4th and 8th grade. I lived in the same town as this friend those two years. In between I moved several times. Since then I've continued to move around, and I've had good friends along the way, but this one friend is one of those special friends some of us are lucky enough to have once or twice in a lifetime. He's solid as a rock. As we talked on the phone and shared bits and pieces of what's been going on in our lives since we last talked forty years ago, it became evident that we have taken very different paths over the years, but the most meaningful parts of our lives: our faith, our love for our spouses and children, and our core values are basically the same. We also find ourselves in the same place vocationally after all these years; both of us are, or soon will be, making major career moves. When I discovered that I was reminded of what C.S. Lewis once said about friendship. He said that friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What, you too? I thought I was the only one." It's so very nice to have friends you feel that way about.

My friend and I plan to meet to reconnect in person later this year. I can't wait. Meanwhile I'll be keeping an old African proverb in mind that says, "Hold a true friend with both your hands." Here's to you dear friend; see you soon.