Can You Relate?

Last Sunday in our "Pathways of Discipleship" study we discussed the importance of our presence in worship and smaller groupings as we strive to be progressively formed as followers of Christ. As John Wesley's movement spread and the crowds grew larger and larger Wesley began to notice that those who attended only the larger Society meetings failed to grow spiritually like those who participated in the smaller Class and Band groupings he formed.

There is a reason for this - we all need accountability and encouragement and we all need to live life a little deeper with a few people or else we remain nameless, faceless individuals floating through life with no sense of grounding or belonging. Who I am is defined, in part, by who I am in relationship with. The fewer people I relate to, or know, the less "me" I really am. Restated, we form each other by the web of relationships we are a part of. Connecting with people provides a sense of unity and common purpose that defines us in ways neuroscience has yet to fully explain.

Obviously we can't know everyone though. There is a limit to how many people we can relate to. In class I mentioned that while training to be a church planter I was told the number of people that one person (the pastor) can supposedly keep up with is 167, which is why churches typically stall at this number unless the church puts other networks in place. I failed to mention the science behind the number I gave however.

It turns out I was generous with my number. According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, humans can only comfortably maintain about 150 social relationships.While humans have the ability to facially recognize about 1,500 people, the most a person can really keep up with is 150 (147.8 to be exact).

When Dunbar and his associates went searching they discovered groups of 150 all over the place; among them, the size of a typical fighting unit of Roman soldiers, a neolithic village, and the average Englishman's Christmas Card list. The limiting factor is our brain size - apparently 150 is the number at which our brains just run out of room to keep up with the details of other people's lives. Dunbar has researched this notion so thoroughly that the number 150 is now referred to as "Dunbar's Number" in the scientific community.

How many "friends" do you have on Facebook? How many do you follow on Twitter? What is the average worship attendance of the church you attend? How many people do you work with or know through your job? It turns out there is science behind all these numbers, and their importance should not be taken lightly. We need each other in ways we are only just now beginning to fully understand.

Up and Down We Go

I am having a very schizophrenic Lent this year. I am literally all over the page and very unfocused. One day I'm fasting and the next I'm feasting (translate: gorging). Things have always been this way to an extent with me. My birthday falls during Lent each year and there are always multiple celebrations around my birthday since I share that day with my Mom.

Lent - the period of fasting and reflection that the church observes each year - is a time when we typically forgo celebration and levity to go deeper with our Lord. And yet - this weekend, for instance, saw us sharing time with our daughter in which we try to cook all her favorite dishes, and a huge birthday celebration with ice cream and cake and tons of other delights which all felt very "unlentful" (to make up a word).

The good side of my erratic behavior this Lent is that I've learned anew the lesson that I have hungers and appetites that earthly things can never meet. If I ever want to be truly satisfied, I've got to look to Jesus and to the life He embodies and offers to us all.

I suspect at one time or other we've all stood at the pantry or refrigerator door peering in looking for that "something" we believe will satisfy the gnawing hunger we are experiencing. I'm not a psychologist so I won't go too deeply into emotional eating - but as stated above, I am keenly aware this Lent that whatever it is I'm searching for won't be found in a bottle, can or package of food. I won't find it in a human relationship or in an asset I might acquire. I won't find it in my job, or my children or my bank account.

What I'm hungry for this Lent can only be found in a deep abiding relationship with the One who knows me best. I'll find my rest, my peace, and my purpose in Christ alone. He knows my needs better than even I do. And so I invite you to join me as I put my knife and fork down along with everything else I've been using to prop up my life and give it meaning and I open my hands and my heart and bow my head in prayer to God. The Lord Jesus wants to meet a much deeper need in your life than your physical needs; as important as they are. God has bigger plans for you and me than simply filling our bellies or bolstering our bank accounts. He wants us to find our complete satisfaction in Him and in Him alone because He knows that's the only place we'll find it. Won't you join me?

Guest Post: Rev. John Halley

I was inspired earlier this week reading an article by my son-in-law John Halley in his new hometown of Estero, FL. Here’s what John had to say about guidance in our civic life found in Jeremiah 29:7

It is common these days for pundits and average citizens alike to lament living in a society riven by social issues, politics, religious viewpoints, and inequality. Yet many of these same people who deplore our divisions only seek civic unity by imposing their agenda on others. They pursue victory for their particular enclave at all costs without concern for the welfare of their opponents, who also happen to be their neighbors. We need only turn on the news to see the fruit of their labor.

Yet there is another way. 

One of the most helpful commands in the Bible regarding civic life is found in Jeremiah 29:7. Jeremiah speaks on God’s behalf to his people saying, “Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” Jeremiah urged the Israelites in exile in Babylon to work to bless their city and find peace in the city, in spite of the fact that they were in the city of their enemies. Imagine that, working for the welfare of a city which destroyed your hometown and deported you! Yet the command was clear: if the Israelites were to find peace it would require them to pursue the common good with their neighbors and set aside their grievances. 

“Unity in the Community” is not easy because we inevitably have competing viewpoints for how to best care for our community. But I believe that Jeremiah’s words provide a good starting place for unity. What is translated as “welfare” in Jeremiah 29:7 is shalom in Hebrew, which indicates holistic peace. Shalom means that citizens don’t live in fear, families have enough to eat, folks can find work, children learn and flourish, God can be worshipped, people are not treated as objects, and resources are cared for. I believe we can begin to find real unity in our community when we work first for the shalom of our entire community, including our would-be enemies, rather than our own camps. 

As Director of Discipleship at Estero United Methodist Church I am proud to say that I am part of a community working towards shalom for Estero and beyond. We don’t have it all figured out yet, but every step counts. It is our goal to lift up our entire community without exception, because only in the welfare and peace of the whole will we find our peace. And I know we are not alone; this website is testimony to the growing number folks in Estero who are placing the community’s welfare first.

We need more folks with us though for peace and unity to become a reality. So I end with a simple invitation: join us! Join us in this task of working together for the shalom of our entire community, and in so doing we will find the unity we seek.

John Halley is the Director of Discipleship at Estero United Methodist Church. John and his wife Amy moved to Estero in January of 2014 after John completed his Master of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California. Prior to studying at Fuller Seminary John spent three and a half years co-founding and running a Christian community center in San Ramon, Costa Rica. John and Amy are currently expecting their first child, and spending as much time as possible at the beach before their family expands!

In Whom Do We Trust?

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

I received a few dollars change when paying for my lunch today and stuffed the cash in my front pocket so I could carry my tray of food. When I got back to the office I took the money out to put it in my wallet. As I did something written on a five dollar bill caught my eye. The note, written in ink on the front of the bill, simply said Psalm 91.

I wasn't all that familiar with the ninety-first Psalm so I looked it up and discovered the Psalm is a prayer of Moses that speaks of the strength, security, protection, and joy that comes from God. Moses can't help but share the good news that God is his "refuge and fortress" - that's what he means by "I will say of the Lord..."

Moses tells us to let the Lord God be our shelter, our refuge and our fortress. A fortress is a stronghold of a permanent nature; placing our trust in God is placing our trust in something that is permanent. The rest of the Psalm goes on to tell us more about God's protecting nature and loving care for those that place their trust in Him.

I could not help but notice the irony of this particular Scripture being written on a five dollar bill. So many times we place our trust in money, but let's face it, such trust is misplaced. In the end all the things we typically count on to give our lives security and meaning will fade away - but God won't. 

What about you? Who, or what provides your strength, protection, joy, love, and life? God gives all these things to His children. Knowing that you lie within the safety and sovereign protection of Almighty God is a security that nothing on earth can compare to.

Whoever who took the time to jot down Psalm 91 on that five dollar bill probably had no idea their note would prompt so much thinking. On second thought, maybe they did, and that's exactly why they did it.

Hello Old Friends

My last post was in September, 2012. A lot has changed since then, as you might imagine. I won't even try to catch you up on what all has gone on; suffice it to say a lot of water had run under the old bridge since then.

I am also not going to promise you that I'm going to start blogging again regularly. I've seen too many sputters and coughs by folks trying to keep a blog going. I do plan to revisit this spot occasionally though.

Meantime, have I told you about my first grand child? Oh yes, I'm a proud grandpa now. She was born in February. Let's see, I just happen to have a photo right here...

Have a great day - and keep on smiling like little Olivia Kate in this photo.

Blessings - Steve