Influences

Donna recently told me the story of meeting a teacher at her new school. In an attempt to see if they had any friends in common Donna mentioned a good friend of hers who teaches the same subject. When she mentioned the name, the other teacher exclaimed, “She is why I went into teaching! She inspired me to become a teacher.” This young teacher went on to explain that from the time she had this teacher back in middle school she knew she wanted to be a teacher.

That story got me thinking about influence; especially about those who have influenced me the most. Think for a moment; who has influenced your life the most? Who are the top five most influential people in your life right now?

Many of us would list our parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, or other family members. Others might include a teacher from their school days, a sports coach, college roommate, or perhaps a mentor from their vocation in their top five. Some might include a pastor or best friend.

The people who influenced me most, especially in my early years, were my parents. They gave me a solid foundation and a great start to life. I can also still feel the imprint of high school teachers and coaches, seminary professors, and colleagues in ministry. Many of my influences lived hundreds of years ago, because I have been influenced by their writings. Some of my influences are still alive but I’ve never met them, again because I have read their stories, heard them speak, and read their books. The greatest influence in my life today is my wife; if I could be more like any person – living or dead – it would be her.

Who are your top influences? As you think about this, keep in mind that not all those who influence us do so positively; some people influence us in ways that are to our detriment. With some people we say, “I’d like to be just like him/her.” With others we say, “I hope I am never like that.” Some people draw us higher with their influence; others bring us down.

Now that you are thinking about this; you may want to take it a step further. Ask yourself why that person has been such an influence on your life. Ask yourself if you have lived up to the expectation they set in your life. You might even want to ask yourself if their influence on your life was even warranted.

Finally, if one of your “top five” is still around, you might want to take the time to express your appreciation to them. Call them, write them, email them, or go see them. They may not even know they have been an inspiration to you in your life. Every influencer deserves that.

Discipline and Committment

I recently was reading Ed Stetzer's blog (EdStetzer.com) and ran across a post on a new book by Steve Addison called "Movements that Change the World." This book is about church movements and how they have changed the world. In the book Addison identifies what he calls the top five characteristics of dynamic movements, one of which is what he calls, "commitment to a cause."

I loved Addison's description of this particular characteristic. He points out how for good or for evil, history is made by people committed to a common purpose. Nothing changes unless people care deeply and are willing take action. The prime example of this, of course is Jesus himself. Jesus had high expectations of his followers. So high, that some of them walked away.

Addison tells an anecdote about one of my heroes of the faith, John Wesley, who founded the Methodist movement. It seems that after Wesley visited Bristol, one of his "Societies" was started there. By the time Wesley returned to Bristol months later the Society had grown to 900 people. But by the time he left 143 of them had been removed for various reasons: among them wife-beating, smuggling, and drunkenness. Addison's point: Wesley led a disciplined movement; one that changed the world and quite possibly helped avoid a bloody revolution in England like the one they had in France.

Without discipline there is no church. As much as I hate to talk about discipline, and enforce it, and sometimes even tip-toe around it, there can be no church without the boundary of church discipline. R. Albert Mohler, Jr. had this to say about church discipline: "No longer concerned with maintaining purity of confession or lifestyle, the contemporary church sees itself as a voluntary association of autonomous members, with minimal moral accountability to God, much less to each other." Mohler, who is President of Southern Baptist Seminary, goes on to say, "Put simply, the abandonment of church discipline is linked to American Christianity’s creeping accommodation to American culture." It seems the main concern today is not to offend. If we raise the bar of commitment, or if, heaven forbid, we ask people to actually live their lives differently from their non-believing neighbors, who knows what they will do; they may even leave! Meanwhile, much of what Jesus, Peter and Paul and others had to say was very offensive, especially to our sensitive modern ears which are more attuned to everyone's right to have their cake and eat it too.

Of note is the fact that the terms ‘disciple’ and ‘discipline’ share the same root. It is only through "discipline" that "disciples" are made. A disciple is one under the teaching, training, coaching, and authority of another. Discipline is the means by which God’s people are trained in godliness: “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age” (Tit. 2:11-12).

Bottom line, there is a great deal of unhappiness, distress, and trouble in the world because of our 'all-too-frequent' failure to control our tempers, appetites, passions and impulses. Sadly, this is often just as true inside the church as it is out in the world. Churches that neglect discipline do so to their peril. Doing so is to surrender to the spirit of this age. Discipline and commitment are never pleasant or easy, but things worth doing seldom are.

Death Spiral

Okay - I admit it, my "creative cooker" is not working very well these days. On top of that I am supposed to be writing my sermon for Sunday right now...at any rate - I just have to share today's post from Seth Godin. It speaks truth into my life - and into our church's life - in an amazing way.... I am cutting and pasting it here for you to read; and for me to remember.

You've probably seen it. The fish monger sees a decline in business, so they have less money to spend on upkeep and inventory, so they keep the fish a bit longer and don't clean up as often, so of course, business declines and then they have even less money... Eventually, you have an empty, smelly fish store that's out of business.

The doctor has fewer patients so he doesn't invest as much in training or staff and so some other patients choose to leave which means that there are even fewer patients...

The newspaper has fewer advertisers, so they can't invest as much in running stories, so people stop reading it, which means advertisers have less reason to advertise which leaves less money for stories...

As Tom Peters says, "You can't shrink your way to greatness," and yet that's what so many dying businesses try to do. They hunker down and wait for things to get better, but they don't. This isn't a dip, it's a cul de sac. It's over.

Right this minute, you still have some cash, some customers, some momentum... Instead of squandering it in a long, slow, death spiral, do something else. Buy a new platform. Move. Find new products for the customers that still trust you.

Change is a bear, but it's better than death.

License or Legalism?

We are holding membership meetings for our upcoming ministry year and I find myself in a familiar conundrum, one I have been in many times before in my role as a pastor; the battle between the opposing poles of license and legalism when it comes to membership in the local church.

On the one hand I am grateful for anyone who comes to Christ and wants to attend our church. I hate to add requirements or rules to being a member of our church such as attending a membership class in order to join, and regular worship attendance, participation in a small group, and service on a ministry team after you do join. Why does it bother me to require these things? Mainly because I remember familiar verses Jesus spoke like, “Come to me all you who are burdened and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28 emphasis mine). Jesus did not add a post script to that verse and say, “Oh, and do this, and that, and the other as well.” I am also haunted by Jesus’ sharp words to the Pharisees who he accused of being “Blind guides who strain out a gnat but swallow a camel” (Matt. 23:24). Jesus told them flat out that they were not only being unhelpful to those seeking to know God, but he said they were actually making it more difficult for people to connect with God because they were placing burdens which were not His burdens upon their shoulders.

I do not want to be legalistic – but it seems to me that in order to be faithful disciples of Christ and in order to accomplish anything as a church we need a clear standard or expectation for our members to live up to.

On the other side of the equation (license) I recall Jesus’ exhortation to “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matt. 7:13-14). Yes, Jesus is talking about salvation here and not church membership, but he is also clearly saying that not just anything goes. There is a path to follow to get to Him and it is not the six-lane expressway of “anything goes.” I also think of Jesus statement just below that where he says, “By their fruit you will know them” (Matt. 7:20). Believers are supposed to bear fruit; something is supposed to be happening in their lives that gives evidence of their faith. I am probably disturbed most of all by the account of the rich young ruler where Jesus clearly laid down what is expected or required, “Go and sell all you have and give it to the poor…and come follow me” (Luke 18:22) and the young man walked away. When he did Jesus did not chase after him and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, is that too difficult? Is that too much to ask? Then don’t worry about it.” No, Jesus let the man walk away. Jesus set the bar at a certain height and said that is the standard. Is that legalism? I don’t think so.

I confess that by nature I am more of a legalist than a license kind of guy. I am more afraid of the “anything goes” side of the pendulum than the "that's too hard for them." I heard Chuck Swindoll quote Francis Schaeffer on the radio tonight talking about what Schaeffer called the “great evangelical disaster” which is Christianity’s current propensity to accommodate the culture it exists in. Anything and everything goes because Jesus was “full of grace” so we should be too. Yes Jesus was full of mercy and grace, but he also had expectations – He had a standard. As a trophy of that grace myself I understand my life must be different than it was before he changed me and different than those around me.

And so the battle rages on in my heart and soul. Are we placing higher expectations on church members’ lives than even Jesus would? Shouldn’t we just be happy they are attending? Or should we set the bar where we believe Jesus would and then let them walk away if they won’t agree to that standard? It is a tough choice to make, but ultimately someone has to make that choice. What would you do?

Perceptions

We have all heard it before – "perception is everything." It does not really matter what the reality of any given situation is, people are going to form opinions about what it was really like and oftentimes those opinions are going to be more varied than you can possibly imagine.

How many times have you seen someone listen to a recording of their own voice and then insist the voice on the recording sounds nothing like them? Why is this? It is because we are the ONLY person in the world who experiences things from our point of view. The voice we are hearing does not sound like that to us when we speak, so how could it possibly sound like that when we hear it played back? It is because we all hear and see and experience things from our own unique perspective so we cannot possibly expect others to have the same experiences we do – even given completely identical stimuli.

Look at this picture. What do you see, an old woman with a big nose, or a beautiful young maiden? Look again – look long and hard; do you still see the same thing? What do you see? Beauty? Ugliness? Young? Old?

Perception is how you see the world around you. Every time you look at something, or someone, you are forming opinions. You are observing, processing, and deducing information to form an opinion. The opinions you arrive at may be accurate, or they may be far from the truth. Since we cannot be “inside” someone else’s mind and heart we can’t possibly know what the reality is in a given situation. Truth is, sometimes we do not even know or understand our own motives. And if our motives and perceptions are unknown even to us on the "inside" of life as we experience it, how can those "outside" us have a chance to understand what the reality is in a given situation? We are constantly unconsciously running everything we experience through a set of filters we were born with, or educated into, or we picked up from our generation or from a previous generation.

Why am I talking about this? I am writing about perceptions because of today’s worship service at my church. Depending upon who you ask at our church and certain factors I have yet to completely sort out, today’s service was either, “exactly what a ‘win’ looks like at NewSong,” or else it was “one of the worst services we have had in a long time.”

I know. No one ever said leadership was easy. This evening I perceive it to be very difficult. I am not even sure what step to take next. As usual it brings me back to the old leadership arts of listening, measuring, clarifying and communicating. Perhaps it is even time to retool a few things. But whose perceptions to we retool towards? What do people actually perceive? And what is the correlation between what they perceive and the underlying reality? Is what people were either deliriously happy about or totally disgusted with today even the issue on the table now?

How do we deal with perceptions and whose perceptions matter most (besides God’s, of course). What do you think?

Book Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

I actually got this book as a “freebie” at last October’s Catalyst Conference and just got around to reading it tonight. Godin is a self-described “best-selling author, entrepreneur, and change agent.” I think of him as the Leonard Sweet of the Internet era. He specializes in marketing and communication, especially Internet marketing and connecting. He is a prolific blogger, writer, and speaker who loves to challenge the status quo, dares to question the accepted order and who specializes in debunking commonly held assumptions ("myths"). He calls doing this being a heretic.

Tribes is actually the first book of Godin’s I have read (he has written a dozen), but I read his blog faithfully. In the book he defines a tribe as "any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea." Tribes can be religious, ethnic, economic, political, or even musical (think of the Deadheads). Godin contends to be human is to long to be a part of a tribe.

With the Internet and all its social networking opportunities (Facebook, Twitter, etc…) it is easier than ever today to form or join a tribe. With the exponential expansion of modern forces of connection anyone who wants to make a difference now has the tools at his or her fingertips to form a tribe or to locate one to be a part of. The main question this opportunity presents, Godin contends, is who is going to lead all these tribes?

Tribes has some good leadership thinking in it. Much of it is very relevant to the church too. He talks a lot about the “tightening the tribe” using all the tools available to leaders in our new more connected world. He especially touts the efficiency of blogs for doing this. “A blogger has a free, nearly effortless tool to send regular (daily? hourly?) messages to the people who want to read them. And with comments and trackbacks, the members of the tribe can talk back and to each other. Discussions take place, ideas are shared, decisions are made – quickly” (pg. 53).

I loved Godin’s important distinction between "fans" and "numbers." He writes, “A true fan brings three friends with him to a John Mayer concert…a true fan connects with other true fans and amplifies the noise the artise makes…” “Too many organizations care about numbers, not fans. They care about hits or turnstile clicks or media mentions. What they’re missing is the depth of commitment and interconnection that true fans deliver…the real win is in turning a casual fan into a true one” (pg. 33)

There is a plenty of other good leadership insight in this short 147 page book. I definitely need to go back now and reread the book with a highlighter in hand. I plan to encourage our staff at NewSong to read the book and to use its principles as they form their tribes within NewSong as well.

In conclusion, I encourage anyone interested in thinking outside the box about their church or business to read this book and to apply its principles.

Elder/Staff Retreat Part Two

Our Elder/Staff retreat held this past weekend was about as good as it could possibly be. I could definitely sense the prayers people were praying for the weekend. When I got home Saturday night I told Donna (my wife) that I honestly could not imagine a single thing about the retreat that could have been better. Everyone came. Everyone participated. No one held anything back. We all shared our life stories, including our personal testimony. Everyone had read the Simple Church book and done their homework in advance. Our staff was prepared with exciting well-done reports on their ministries and plans for the future. There was plenty of laughter, tears, good food, great worship, and amazing fellowship (including a few odd bed-partners, but that's another post for another day).

Things we accomplished:

- We thoroughly went over Clarity - Movement - Alignment - and Focus from the Simple Church book. We know our work is cut out for us; mainly in properly communicating the "why" we need to do this to our congregation. As Vicki Eitel reminded us, Jesus never said anyone "had" to do anything. But "if" one wants certain things to happen then he or she "must" make certain changes or do certain things. We need to make our process crystal clear to everyone and in time, hopefully it will become a part of our church's DNA.

- Our staff leaders gave overviews of their respective areas including their mission, lens, target audience, and what constitutes a "win" for them.

- We raised the commitment level for leadership at NewSong by agreeing on what is expected of a "Level One Leader."

- We simplified our organizational structure so everything we do fits under the "Five Things We Do at NewSong" These five are: Weekend Worship, Small Groups, Missions, Youth, and Children. Existing ministries that do not "fit" will be phased out as an act of stewardship of our resources and faithfulness to God and His mission through us.

- We reduced our number of leaders from over 50 this year (2008-09) to less than half that number for the upcoming ministry year (2009/10). We also came up with a concensus list of leader candidates to fill those positions.

- We decided we will handle our ministry sign-ups differently this year (in August). We will still have sign-ups but we will try to have many people already recruited and signed up by ministry team leaders relationally.

- During the chapter reviews from Simple Church and the staff reports we kept a running list of significant changes we have recently made (or will make soon). These include:

1) Worship (Love) as our "Front Door" at NewSong. This is part of our new evangelistic focus, which is our number one strategic ministry priority in 2009. Our services are now being designed and targeted more towards non-believers so when our members invite their unbelieving friends, relatives and neighbors they will be able to more easily connect to God. We believe we can do this and still satisfy existing believers' needs for engaging worship and relevant, biblical teaching. What believers miss out on in "depth" in worship they will now get in their small groups.

2) Small Groups will become our main discipleship (Grow) vehicle, rather than traditional Sunday School. True life change happens best in small groups which will hopefully all eventually meet in the more intimate setting of a home rather than in sterile classrooms. Besides, we have many more homes available to us at NewSong than we do classrooms. We are planning a church-wide small group emphasis in the fall built around Saddleback's "40 Days of Love" campaign where we hope to launch 10-12 small groups.

3) In Missions (Share) our focus going forward will be "to serve Christ so others see him." We we will no longer artificially divide this area between "ministry" (inside the church) and "missions" (outside the church) but instead will focus on doing everything for Christ so that those we are serving will see Him in our service. We believe you can hand someone a worship guide, or prepare refreshments, or operate a sound board as though you are doing it for Christ Himself. Doing so would constitute a "win" for us in this area.

4) In our Children's Ministry our focus will be on developing a parent-church partnership to help our children come to know God instead of parents simply taking their children to church for the church to teach them "about" God. A win in this area would be when the families in our church are intentional about teaching biblical truths in their home on a daily basis.

5) One final noticeable difference will be an emphasis on being intentionally relational in our worship, grow groups and recruiting for our share ministries. This is a shift from our former "warm body" method where we were just looking at numbers, having multiple ministries, filling slots and always having impersonal sign-up sheets in the back. Strong churches are built on solid, godly, peer relationships. We plan to take full advantage of the strong relational ties that already exist at NewSong and to strengthen them further.

NewSong Elder/Staff Retreat

Well, tomorrow we are off for our Elder/Staff retreat for NewSong Church. So far all our staff members and Elders are attending - that is eleven of us. I am very excited at this opportunity to synchronize our efforts by clarifying, aligning, and focusing in our mission as a church. One of our four strategic ministry priorities for 2009 is what we called “Empowering Leadership” and is about expanding our leadership base. This is critical in order for us to move from being essentially a single cell church with me at the center to being a multi-celled church with multiple points of entry and several leaders as hubs for people to latch onto.

Church leadership gurus call where we are the “Shepherd-Rancher” threshold. It's an indisputable fact that the leadership style that works well with a church of 35-50 people will most likely hinder the growth of a church with 150-200. The little church pastor knows everybody, does all the praying, all the baptizing, all the teaching, and becomes a bottleneck for growth at some point because everything has to be run by him or her. He or she is the only one who knows everyone else in the church, and this person ends up with his hand in everything that happens at the church. The problem is there is a limit to how many people one person can personally shepherd. As the church grows the pastor must change roles from “Shepherd” to “Rancher.” The Rancher helps oversee the farm, mainly through under-Shepherds.

We have been at the threshold where this needs to be addressed for some time now at NewSong. The time has come for me to be more “hands off;” I must learn to delegate more, trusting the people to make what needs to happen transpire. The “sheep” for the pastor become the leaders he/she is mentoring and equipping for ministry. While shepherding only a few, they continue to serve as rancher to the entire flock.

Can we make this transition at NewSong? My experience has been that not too many pastors are able to do this. Most of the fault for this lies with the leader who is unable or unwilling to give up the responsibility and authority they presently have. But the people in the church who are not willing to be unselfish enough to let their pastor’s leadership style change share in the blame for this as well.

Theologically and practically most of us recognize it is not good for people to look exclusively to one person, a pastor, for all their spiritual guidance, answers, and leadership. The same Spirit that rested on Christ came down on all believers at Pentecost. On the flip side, it is also unhealthy for pastors to lose touch with their people and begin treating the congregation like widgets or numbers. Pastors can never let themselves become so “hands off” that they don’t know what is going on in the church. A disengaged leader can be disastrous.

Ideally, a pastor would be able to adopt a different style to match the different phase of development of the congregation. He or she should be find a way to grow along with the church. This assumes the pastor wants to stay, of course, which I want to do at NewSong. Flexibility on the part of the pastor and a willingness to continue to expand on the part of the church are the keys. A leader who feels he or she cannot adopt a different style as the church grows should recognize this and find a new church where his or her leadership style is needed. Likewise, the congregation that is plateaued or declining must decide if they want to be unselfish enough to grow, or if they want to remain comfortable where they are. A word of caution: Biblically-speaking such a congregation (one that opted for "comfortable") would be standing on shaky ground.

Book Review: The Unforgiving Minute

I just finished a book called The Unforgiving Minute by Craig M. Mullaney. This enjoyable read is a memoir of the author’s life as a student, soldier, and veteran. The book begins with his first day at the US Military Academy at West Point. From there he survives the challenges of the US Army Ranger School, Oxford University (as a Rhodes Scholar), falling in love, and then combat in Afghanistan as a Platoon Leader. As the book ends the author is a combat veteran teaching at the US Naval Academy. As amazing and interesting as all that sounds, the story is actually deeper than that; it’s also the story of someone coming of age, finding love, dealing with disappointment in his family, wrestling with incredible disappointment in life, and finally coming to terms with life as his own man.

The title to the book comes from the last stanza of one of my favorite poems, Rudyard Kipling’s “If.”

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a man, my son!

The “unforgiving minute” the story builds toward is the riveting account of a firefight on a barren ridge in Afghanistan where Mullaney and his platoon are engaged with al-Qaeda fighters when a message crackles over the radio that one of his men is “KIA” (Killed in Action). In that one unforgiving minute everything changed. Doubt crept in. Was the loss of this soldier his fault? What could he have done different? As one reviewer said in the liner of the book, “Learning from his experience can help us face our own unforgiving minutes.” I hope it will help me with mine.

The lessons learned are many. Near the end of the book the author visits his brother who is now attending West Point himself. He sums up some of the lessons learned as he reflects on what he wants to say to his brother:

“There was so much I wanted to say to him that I wasn’t sure where to start. I wanted him to know that the greatest privilege I ever had was leading men in combat. He was going to be tested over and over again in ways he could never predict or simulate in training. There were going to be times when he would be afraid, but I wanted him to know that courage has more to do with facing that fear than forgetting it. His men would expect him to share their risks and stand with them in the storm. But they would also expect him to set a course, decide, act, and lead. He couldn’t afford to doubt himself. The only way to never make a decision he would regret would be to never make any decisions at all. Finally, I wanted to tell him that doing everything right might still entail heart-wrenching consequences. Gary would have his own unforgiving minutes, I feared, but what mattered was that he fill those minutes with ‘sixty seconds worth of distance run.’”

The book is full of leadership lessons, stories of military life (including an amazing account of what it's like to go through Ranger school) and what it’s like to be a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. I highly recommend the book. The memoir also contains some great quotes; everything from Winnie the Pooh to Napoleon and Winston Churchill. Here are a few of my favorites from the book:

In case of sudden and temporary immersion, the important thing is to keep the head above water.
- A. A. Milne, Winnie-the Pooh

Infantry platoons and squads rely on two truths:
1) In combat, infantrymen who are moving are attacking.
2) Infantrymen who are not attacking are preparing to attack.
- Infantry Field Manual (FM 3-21.8)

Do your duty – and never mind whether you are shivering or warm, sleeping on your feet or in your bed.
- Marcus Aurelius

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I have not been at the front; I have been in front of it.
- Wilfred Owen, 1917

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
- Afghan Proverb

If you’re going through Hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
- Tennyson, Ulysses

The Unforgiving Minute
A Soldier's Education
by Craig M. Mullaney
© 2009 by The Penguin Press